So Much for Love
by Dib Lover
Summary: My ZAGR, my way! (ZAGR=Zim And Gaz Romance)


Hi! Dib Lover here! This is my first ZAGR so don't flame me. o.o; I just saw Shrek so I'm all full of tragic...romancey...stuff. Well, I'm not going to say any more because that might give away...things. As the title probably already has.  
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Zim glared across the table at the short, black-clad figure, purple head bowed as she concentrated on-well, what else does she concentrate on? He regarded the spotlessly white tablecloth with a contemptuously disdainful demeanor, taking out his X-raying instrument to inspect it. Crawling with filth, of course, but then he hadn't remembered his germ goggles. He glanced up again, the galling repetitive beeping of the Game Slave grating against his-whatever Irkens hear with. He grumbled to himself. This had all been a stupid idea. Wincing, he shoved away the memory of his stupidity: agreeing to go on a date with her because of Dib. Why had he succumbed to Dib's seduces? Why had he so foolishly said yes? And where was he now? In a restaurant with a purple-headed preteen who he couldn't care less about and who was eternally attached to her Game Slave.  
  
Gaz lifted her eyes from the Game Slave screen to glare across the table at the shifty-eyed green Irken. He was inspecting the tablecloth carefully. She shook her head and gave herself back to the Game Slave. After the enemy had wreaked havoc on her health, she realized she just wasn't concentrating hard enough. But why? Usually she was so totally engrossed in this game she didn't even look up to cross the street! She glared at Zim again. Why was she here in public with a green kid? Why had she let Dib put her through his teasing and proposals? And where was she now? In a restaurant with a green-skinned kid who she couldn't care less about and who had once used her in place of an umbrella.   
  
Dib grinned as he watched the alien. He had planted the microscopic video camera on his sister when she went out the door. Finally, finally, a chance to observe the alien closely without actually having to be there! With no danger at all to himself in the deal, he chuckled and leaned back. It was going to be a long night.  
  
Zim glowered. He sniffed the food that was being served to him by a waiter in a shiny, immaculate tuxedo. He gasped for breath, grabbing at his neck with his gloved hands. It smelled utterly disgusting, and he wasn't about to sink his zipper-like teeth into anything that reeked of such putrid stench. Suddenly some music struck up, and he remembered from his "Proper Earth Behavior" tapes that on a date, one must dance. He stood up rather awkwardly and went over to Gaz.  
"May I...erm..." What is that phrase! Zim thought, frustrated. He had to remember it...it was from the tapes...suddenly, he brightened. He had remembered it! "May I eat these pants?" he said brightly.  
"What?" Gaz squinted up at him from her video game screen.  
"I mean...may I have this dance?" he made a quick recovery. That was stupid, he thought furiously. The worm baby is probably suspicious of me now...  
  
Gaz growled. She had just been hacked to death by a guy with a mace and her ray gun was out of fuel. She shook the Game Slave hard as she tried to pick up more. A scent wafted across the table to her and she grinned. It smelled so succulent! She enjoyed restaurant food but despised having to go out with her family without her Game Slave for entertainment. She looked up now as music started but quickly directed her attention back to her video game. Anything but asking me to dance, she thought darkly. She hated Zim with all of her heart even now. Footsteps approached: the tapping of Zim's boots. She didn't look up. A shadow looming across her video game screen. She didn't look up.  
"May I...erm..." the nervous voice paused. Chicken, Gaz thought. She decided he was apprehensive about asking for a dance. "May I eat these pants?" he asked. Gaz looked up.  
"What?"  
"I mean...may I have this dance?" Zim said in a rush. Gaz glared at him. The only thought running through her mind now was: What a dork...  
  
Dib was in hysterics. He had never imagined it to be funny, but as long as he had this on tape forever it might as well be. He rolled over, practically paralyzed by laughter as Zim's voice echoed through the room: "May I eat these pants?" Dib pounded the pillow, not even bothering to check Gaz's reaction in his laughter.  
  
Zim stood, now feeling nervous. Was there a different look on Gaz's face now? Did he detect...suspicion? Distrust? Tenseness? What was running through her mind right now? Was she regretting she'd ever waved away Dib's theories of Zim's being an alien? No matter. He'd take care of that later if need be.  
"Yes." Gaz stood up, and followed Zim to the dance floor. She held out her arms in the correct position for a slow dance, and Zim stared stupidly at her for a few seconds. What was she trying to do? Strangle him? But no-she made no move to do anything of the sort. Suddenly, it clicked. This was what these stink beasts called dancing. He grabbed her arm roughly and put his other hand on her waist as the video had shown. The music began.  
"Ow!" That would be Gaz, her foot caught under Zim's boot.  
"Sorry."  
"Ow!"  
"Sorry."  
"OW! GET OFF OF ME!"  
"YOU GET OFF OF ME, MISERABLE STINK BEAST!" Zim lunged at her, knocking her to the floor, and they wrestled with each other as the helpless staff looked on.  
  
Gaz looked up at Zim. She couldn't believe it. Of all the rotten luck! Why had he asked her to dance? She'd probably be the laughingstock of the school if word got out she'd been dancing with that green freak in her brother's class. She glanced nervously at Zim, wondering what in the world he was thinking about right now. Oh, well. If she wanted to be able to properly gloat to Dib when she got home, she might as well go for it.  
"Yes." She obediently followed Zim's inept steps to the smooth, polished dance floor. When your eyes are on the ground constantly, you notice such things. When they got on the floor and were facing each other, the musicians played a slow number. Gaz held out her arms in the appropriate positions for a slow dance. Zim looked at her blankly. Gaz stared. Didn't he know what he was supposed to do? Finally, his face seemed to brighten and he grabbed her arm and his other hand went to her waist.  
"Ow!" Her foot was crushed under Zim's boot: the result of his clumsy footing.  
"Sorry." You better be, green-boy, she thought grumpily.  
"Ow!" This guy's got to have two left feet! Gaz decided inwardly.  
"Sorry."  
"OW! GET OFF OF ME!" Gaz had lost it. Three times having her foot stepped on was enough.   
"YOU GET OFF OF ME, MISERABLE STINK BEAST!" countered Zim furiously. He dove after her, knocking her to the floor and she responded by punching him right in the squeedly spooch. Before she knew it, they were grappling on the floor, surrounded by staff.  
  
Dib chuckled gleefully to himself, shoveling a handful of popcorn into his mouth. This was better than the movies! Zim was practically advertising himself as non-human, and right out in public, too! And seeing his own sister beating the alien up just put the icing on the cake: it was perfect.  
  
Zim muttered darkly to himself, scuffing his black boots against the sidewalk. Being kicked out of the restaurant for fighting and his various shouts of anger at Gaz had left him cross and grumpy. Behind him, Gaz walked silent; her Game Slave making up for the noise she wasn't producing. Its constant beeping made him angrier with each step until he spun around and growled,  
"What do we do now, human worm-baby?"  
If this offended Gaz, she made no sign to show it but actually looked up from her game. She stared upward: the movie theatre loomed ahead. "We could go to a movie," she suggested.  
"All right, we'll go to this...this... 'movie'." He went into the movie theatre and looked down all of the hallways, not bothering to stop at the ticket booth simply because he had no idea that he was supposed to. He walked into one that had a fittingly mushy title and settled into the third row. Gaz followed rather reluctantly and sat down beside him. Get out of my space, pitiful worm-baby, he thought aggressively. Gaz sighed. An illumination came out of nowhere. Zim whipped his head around but it was only Gaz's Game Slave. He moaned. It was going to be a long movie if he was to endure this.  
  
Gaz was wholly occupied with her Game Slave, not even looking up to see if she was still following Zim. Whoever was in front of her was muttering crossly, so she supposed it was Zim. Being kicked out of the restaurant seemingly had no effect on her, but she was seething with anger at Zim. Now if she tried to go back there sometime, she might not be admitted. Suddenly, the person in front of her whirled around. She stopped instinctively.  
"What do we do now, human worm-baby?" Worm-baby? She thought indignantly. She put her game on pause and looked up. As if in answer to the proposed question, a movie theatre materialized into her view as she stepped up onto the crest of the sidewalk-paved hill.  
"We could go to a movie," she said mildly.  
"All right, we'll go to this...this... 'movie'." Gaz rolled her seldom-opened eyes. What kind of kid pretends to be unfamiliar with movies? She put her game off of pause and followed Zim. A vague thought of "shouldn't we buy tickets?" was quickly brushed away as Zim led her into a doorway with the title of a romantic movie posted above it. She followed Zim into the row of his choice and settled into the seat beside him rather unwillingly. To pass the time she turned on her Game Slave and set out to beat the 37th level. It was a long movie.  
  
Dib was asleep. He breathed gently, still propped up on the pillows, hair more tousled than usual, popcorn kernels littering the room. The screen was still playing. He had held out as long as he could but as Gaz was no longer facing Zim and she was looking at the screen, he had no choice but to watch the incredibly boring movie. Unknowingly, he had slipped into a doze.  
  
On the sidewalk again, side by side but silent, Zim and Gaz walked in the dim glow of the street lamps. It was very late and Zim knew Gaz ought to be getting home, but he didn't especially care, either. As they arrived in front of her house, his resentment boiled and he said quietly,  
"I hate you, Gaz."  
"I hate you too, Zim. Have an unpleasant night."  
"You too." He walked home in silence.  
  
After the darkness of the movie theatre, even the light of the street lamps dazzled Gaz. She didn't know what time it was exactly, but she knew it was well past the time she should have been home. She glared at Zim. It hadn't been a nice evening, and she hated Zim just as much as before. She hoped Dib was happy. Zim paused as she was about to ascend her front stoop. Oh, God, don't let him say something sentimental, she thought.  
"I hate you, Gaz." He said. At least he's honest, she thought, satisfied.  
"I hate you too, Zim." Gaz snapped. "Have an unpleasant night."  
"You too." He spat spitefully. Gaz turned the knob and entered the house. Dib was asleep in front of the TV set.  
"I hope you're happy, Dib." She said loudly.   
"Huh?" Dib sat up and adjusted his glasses.  
"I said, I hope you're happy."  
"Happy about what?"  
"I had a terrible night."  
"I'm happy to hear that." He said gleefully. Gaz shook her head and headed upstairs to her bedroom.  
  
Dib was having a dream in which he had captured Zim and was doing a study of his autopsy. He held up various twisted and oddly colored organs and showed them to an awed crowd.  
"I told you, I told you," he was repeating in a singsong. Suddenly Gaz pushed through the crowd. Her strangely real voice resounded.  
"I hope you're happy Dib..."  
He jerked out of his slumber. "Huh?" He looked up and saw Gaz staring down at him. Half of her face was out of focus. He quickly righted his glasses and stared at her. She was glaring.  
"I said, I hope you're happy."  
"Happy about what?" He was confused. After all, he'd just woken up from a wonderful dream and wasn't ready yet to adjust to the real world.  
"I had a terrible night."  
"I'm happy to hear that." Dib stated truthfully. He grinned. He had gotten a few laughs out of it and had been able to study Zim's every move from his perspective. He smiled to himself as Gaz ascended the staircase to her bedroom.  
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Blehehehehehe! Now it's 6:15 AM and I'm awaiting the school bus and finally getting ready to post this on the internet (which I'll do when I get home today.) Not to mention watching Invader Zim! ::chuckles:: Dib just said "How did you get past the verbal portion of the exam, anyway?" Okay, anyway, about the story: please review! I mean, I'm not trying to force you or whatever, but I really want to know if you thought it was stupid or what. I'm sorry, all of you faithfully ZAGR believers, but this is the way I tink it would be if ZIm and Gaz actually had the insanity as to go out with each other...::shudders:: I thought it was okay myself, not too good but okay. I dunno. Give me a break here, I wrote it in two-sittings and I was half-asleep! Like I said, I went to see the movie Shrek and I was sorta tired. Anways, I talk too much.  
  
~Dib Lover 


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